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| okay, so time with danny and shannon was extremely fun.
time with them is becoming the redundant that you just can't get enough of.
plus to put a cherry on the cake/pudding/sundae:
adam decided to grace us with his presence.
so you know what...i'm going to be completely and 100% honest with you.
one of those post that i'm going to regret writing later, but in the moment i need to get it out:
i miss the good ol' days when i use to push boys down slides because they were picking on me or stealing my barbies. when we were like 10, ellen and i would sit on my mom's nordac track singing to alanis morsette and believing that no one was cooler than us. how we laughed uncontrollably because half way through it we realized we sang the word 'chickenshit.' i miss changing worlds with charlotte. i miss ebony; on summer days, how we use to fall asleep on her while she was laying down. i miss jared and i playing chicken with sweetpea and his monster truck. i miss watching beauty and the beast with my dad everyday after i came home from preschool. i miss amanda and the time she ran around my house because she didn't want a splinter taken out of her hand.
i miss just feeling infinite and knowing in a million years i could never be that happy again.
nothing just seems to fit into place anymore. it's all spiraling out of control and i can't catch anything to hold me into place. to try to get in the groove of my old life.
after you, everything just seems all messed up. i just can't get happy. it's only a moment to moment thing anymore. and i wish i could sit here and analyze myself to make me feel the slightest bit better but i can't. because i feel desperate, pathetic and alone. i guess i'm taking a page out of the typical teenage book.
this isn't anything like me. do you realize that? i'm so sick of sitting here and complaining because my life isn't unpeeling the way i imagined it too. the truth is i do have it good. i have parents who love me. i'm healthy. i have a tv in my room. what more could a girl ask for?!
sometimes though, i just wish i could call someone up when my parents are fighting and they tell me we'll never turn out like that. and even though i know in a matter of months we'll probably break up, in the moment i'll believe them. and that's all that matters.
i guess i just need something to fall back on at the end of the day. and despite my greatest effort, my life is just ending eras continually. i need a constant. | | |
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if you know what's good for you
...you'll buy a singing valentine. | | |
| i don't care how uncool this sounds: i love pepband.
(not so much pepband but the before)
such as A&M with dirty dan and shannon!
because acting drunk, striptease, being called 'ma', titanic, and penii
can make any girl smile. no matter how down in the dumps she is.
tomorrow will consist with a whole 4 and a half hours with them.
being completely and utterly naive.
and i know. extremely lame making my entire entry about them.
but if you knew them...you'd understand.
however, i do hate ms. culbertson rather much.
and i hope a tranny steals all her clothing and leaves her with nothing but 80's digs.
e d i t:///
shannon! and dan! time kicks your ass into the ground.
we walked to friendly's (that's how amazing we are)
all in all equals one uhh-mazing day.
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| okay. so.
friday consisted of a rather large portion of my time spent with dannyyy boyyy and shannon.
[A&M, basketball, dan's uhh-mazing balancing skills, dextrin]
today consisted of a rather large portion of my time spent with shannon and dannyyy boyyy.
[mall, sharpprices, over 18? yeah..no, dunkin' donuts, 100th costumer, d.r.a.m.a.]
2006 makes me happy. | | |
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songggs
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http://www.vollan.de/media/garbage_cherry_lips.mp3
http://hyperreal.org/~melzie/moosic/21%20Please%20Please%20Please%20Let%20Me%20Get%20What%20I%20Want.mp3
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